LOVE...ACTUALLY

In 2008, I am taking. love. on.

Let me explain.

Last January, we stopped talking. She and I had a falling out. We had been tussling with each other for years and she clearly was kickin' my ample behind. I was drained. Tired of fighting with her. Tired of feeling less and less lov-ed every day. So I ended it. Gave her the deuces and never looked back.

Oh, I was cool at first, but she tried to fool me. Tried to make me believe that I just needed a break or maybe just a change of scenery and I would be fine. So I considered briefly talking to her again, but I quickly came to realize that it really wasn't time.

So we really and truly stopped seeing each other. We haven't talked for months. I filled my time with neat little projects like triathalons and traveling. I was miserable sometimes. I will admit, I missed love. But all I had to do was close my eyes and I was right back where we left off. Angered words. Bitterness. I couldn't even entertain thoughts of her.

As we move into the beginning of a new year, love is back at my door, begging for attention, begging to be better understood. Love wants to come back. She needs to come back...heck, I will even admit, I need to believe in her again.

But how. How do we start anew? How do I embrace her without fear of losing myself?

These are the questions I have for her. In 2008, I am inviting love over...just to talk. I have resolved to finally listen to what she has to say. I have pledged to myself to learn as much about her as I can, so that when I am ready, I could, maybe, possibly... invite love back into my life.

I want to enjoy her in all of her fullness. Wrap myself up in her without reservation or hesitation. Most of all, I want her to love me back in her gentle and loving way.

This all seems very promising.