IZZIE AND GEORGE-

I know what it is like to be Izzie in a way. I haven't ever slept with any women's husband, or even flirted with another woman's husband for that matter, nor would I. However, I have been really good friends with a guy and somehow that friendship has blossomed into something more between us. I completely understand the awkwardness of switching from best friends to lovers and how once you turn that corner you can never really go back to being what you once were.

When it doesn't work out, it is pretty devastating because not only do you lose a love relationship but you truly lose your best friend as well.

(sigh)

Good luck with that.

I AM BAAAAAAAACK!

SO. My friend who I like to call 'America's Next Top Model' or ANTM for short sent me a text, talkin bout' "Can you update your blog?"

What can I say...When my fans call...I must respond.

I am back with a few pieces of utter insanity.

First and foremost, my hair has been outshining my face.

Seriously?

Uh...let me explain. For the last few weeks my hair has been jammin'. People have been flagging me down in grocery stores, parking lots, church etc., just to tell me my hair is cute. And I have to admit, it is pretty bangin'. I am rocking twist outs every week and my hair just does what it do, and I love it.

But a few days ago, I was in the mirror and my eyes shifted between my face and my hair...back to my face...then to my hair, all of a sudden I started wondering if I my face had lost its cuteness. And then, because you know I take it there and I had to put on a contest with me as the judge.

Hair, full and free-2 points.
Face, clear and clean-2 points.
Hair-textured and strong-4 points.... Yeah, y'all know I am crazy.

Next item.

I have been getting to work on time all week. It is miraculous. I am scheduled to be to work at 9am. I generally roll in around 10a. Before you start invoking stereotypes of black people being late to the job, please know that I work in a large corporation where many directors (Black, White or Striped) roll in around 9:30a or 10a. Heck, my supervisor usually isn't to work until roughly 10:30am. But now that I am able to get ready in 45 minutes, I am not really sure why I was getting to work late in the first place? I am a little puzzled as to what my shiftless behind was doing with that extra hour.

Moving on.

I have to make lists or my life falls apart.
There I said it.
It is true folks. Bills don't get paid, folks don't get called. Work doesn't get done.
The world nearly ends.
I made a call list yesterday and I took it out while I was getting my hair done.
My stylist was like "You have to write down your mother on your call list."
Uh, did I not just tell you my life falls apart without a list!

That's it for now. Ima watch Grey's.

Holla at me in the comments.

AN OPEN LETTER TO MYSELF

Dear lovely,

I have been so hard on you over the last 30 years. I have put you down, questioned your worth, lacked confidence in your abilities and been really awful to you sometimes.

And for that, I apologize.

This past year has been filled with unbelievable highs and some really hard times. And just this week, I have come to realize how talented, smart, beautiful and worthy you are.

You have been through so much in your short little life. You have struggled through daddy issues, bad relationships, depression, law school and you have overcome it all.

You are a walking miracle.

The ancestors are cheering you on.

Do you know that you defy gravity?

Every time you walk into that Senior staff meeting and every time you are at the table with the decision makers, you are defying gravity. You are making history every day simply by being invited to the dance and showing up.

I don't every want to see your shoulders slumping or to see your head down. I promise to never believe what the world says about you in song, in the workplace or in the news. When I look at you, all I can see is what God has "fearfully and wonderfully made". I see the power of his blessings and annointings resting on your spirit. And if God is for you, then who shall ever be against you.

How has it happened that you are corporate counsel at the age of 30?

How has it happened that you have gotten to a level in your career that most people dream of?

It can only be a combination of God's blessings, that he is the source of all that you have acquired and that you are worthy.

I implore you to continue to walk into your annointed destiny. To walk talk and proud, knowing that God is waiting to supply your heart's desires.

This is the time to walk in confidence and to know that you are more than enough.

I am very proud of you. And I love you, with all of my heart.

In God's hands,
lovelyjd

Thoughts on a past relationship

There is a boy. A man really. We dated many years ago. He rejected me.

Now he calls me. Just to talk. First he apologized. I accepted. But didn't really need to talk beyond that.

But we talk. Maybe once a month. But every time I talk to him, I am not sure why we are talking.

We don't have alot in common anymore. He has 2 kids, by 2 djfferent mothers.

I have none.

He is another state, living a life that I can't begin to comprehend. Struggles beyond anything I could probably imagine.

But when he calls, I feel the need to call him back.

But why?

He doesn't have any chance with me. (I believe in never saying never, but ima say never.)

So what's the point?

Writers block

Hey y'all in the year I have had various blogs...I am finally experiencing writer's block.

sorry.

Random Thoughts

1. I don't love Oprah as much as I used to, why is that?

2. Sometimes...I just don't know.

3. I really want 2007 to be over.

4. I haven't worked out all week and I am dying inside.

Secret Obsession

Although I am a grown, professional woman...in between commercials for America's Top Model... I walk the catwalk to the fridge or the bathroom.

What?

Don't look at me like that.