IT'S JUST ALL WRONG PEOPLE

(DEEP SIGH)

Ok, so after I spent $212 at my favorite little boutique in Lancaster AND came home and threw together the shirt above with some dark jeans, a cute wide brown belt AND (are you ready for this?) some PINK and BROWN tall boots.... (*THUD*) Oh yeah, and I rounded out the look with some pink earrings.

After I put out the fire on me...(because you know I was hot!) I realized that I should really work at some fashion magazine or somewhere my style can be fully appreciated. Luckily, I work in entertainment which gives me a little bit of free license to work out my inner fashion maven. I would never say I am a full diva. I know some ladies who know how to shop and how to dress and quite honestly,my style game is no where near some of the OD's (Original Divas).

I realize that one of the reasons that my style game has matured is because it is the only place I can be creative. My job doesn't allow me the ability to fully access my creative self, but in the morning I can decide color, fit, style and matching shoe, which gives me enough satisfaction to last through the day.

But I am slowly realizing that this is not going to be enough to last my entire career.

Hey, doesn't INSTYLE need lawyers????

JUST FINE!

I can't wait to get Mary's new album. I love the first song that was released. My history with Mary (because don't we all have a history with Mary), is that I seem to stumble upon her at different points in my life. Each time, I am going through (or about to go through) some relationship drama, she drops an album and I use it as my therapy. The lyrics and melodies speak directly to my situation and I literally don't listen to anything else for weeks upon weeks.

So imagine my delight when I realized she was going to drop an album entitled "Growing Pains."

That is so where I am in my life. I had a rough year, but I am here and everything is really "Just Fine." I am healthy, I am joyful and I like who I am and furthermore, who I am about to become. No, not everything is perfect, but as with anything in life, when you make it through a storm, you are bigger, better and stronger than you were before and that is a celebration in itself.

So I am here singing...my life, my life's just fine...fine..fine..!

LOVE...ACTUALLY

In 2008, I am taking. love. on.

Let me explain.

Last January, we stopped talking. She and I had a falling out. We had been tussling with each other for years and she clearly was kickin' my ample behind. I was drained. Tired of fighting with her. Tired of feeling less and less lov-ed every day. So I ended it. Gave her the deuces and never looked back.

Oh, I was cool at first, but she tried to fool me. Tried to make me believe that I just needed a break or maybe just a change of scenery and I would be fine. So I considered briefly talking to her again, but I quickly came to realize that it really wasn't time.

So we really and truly stopped seeing each other. We haven't talked for months. I filled my time with neat little projects like triathalons and traveling. I was miserable sometimes. I will admit, I missed love. But all I had to do was close my eyes and I was right back where we left off. Angered words. Bitterness. I couldn't even entertain thoughts of her.

As we move into the beginning of a new year, love is back at my door, begging for attention, begging to be better understood. Love wants to come back. She needs to come back...heck, I will even admit, I need to believe in her again.

But how. How do we start anew? How do I embrace her without fear of losing myself?

These are the questions I have for her. In 2008, I am inviting love over...just to talk. I have resolved to finally listen to what she has to say. I have pledged to myself to learn as much about her as I can, so that when I am ready, I could, maybe, possibly... invite love back into my life.

I want to enjoy her in all of her fullness. Wrap myself up in her without reservation or hesitation. Most of all, I want her to love me back in her gentle and loving way.

This all seems very promising.

THIRTY-ONE in TWO THOUSAND EIGHT

In March, I will be thirty-one (31)!

I just turned 30..in Las Vegas, in a rather special celebration of having friends and family surrounding me and lifting me up (and taking me out). It was a memorable experience and I will never forget it.

Let's recap 2007:

January 17th: Break up with boyfriend of nearly three years.

March: Fabulous celebration with friends and family...in Vegas. Sign up to do first triathlon.

April: Start dating good friend of 8 years. Throw party with bc girls.

May: Stop dating good friend of 8 years. Quite painful to break up with two men in 6 months.

June, July, August: A Blur...training for the triathalon, mild depression... low points of the year.

Septemember: Complete my first triathalon! Dad comes into town to cheer me on! Hooray!

October: CCWC conference w/ANTM: Life changing! Things are looking up!

November: Grateful, blessed. Mom comes into town to hang out! Hooray for moms!

December: It is the end of the year, as with every year, I have come full circle. I am happy, healthy and open to all the best that is yet to come in 2008.

But...I am going to be thirty-one! It seems like just yesterday I was 29.


all I can say is...


BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:)

MY HAIR

I love it.
It is me.
It looks like this except much shorter and sticking straight up and out as opposed to hanging down.

And that is cool with me.

After I wash and twist out, I am golden.

What I would love to happen is for a man to step to me with the line...

"My sista, you wear a beautiful crown..."

I would hesitate for a minute, not quite getting it.

Then I would smile and say "Thank you, I know."

IZZIE AND GEORGE-

I know what it is like to be Izzie in a way. I haven't ever slept with any women's husband, or even flirted with another woman's husband for that matter, nor would I. However, I have been really good friends with a guy and somehow that friendship has blossomed into something more between us. I completely understand the awkwardness of switching from best friends to lovers and how once you turn that corner you can never really go back to being what you once were.

When it doesn't work out, it is pretty devastating because not only do you lose a love relationship but you truly lose your best friend as well.

(sigh)

Good luck with that.

I AM BAAAAAAAACK!

SO. My friend who I like to call 'America's Next Top Model' or ANTM for short sent me a text, talkin bout' "Can you update your blog?"

What can I say...When my fans call...I must respond.

I am back with a few pieces of utter insanity.

First and foremost, my hair has been outshining my face.

Seriously?

Uh...let me explain. For the last few weeks my hair has been jammin'. People have been flagging me down in grocery stores, parking lots, church etc., just to tell me my hair is cute. And I have to admit, it is pretty bangin'. I am rocking twist outs every week and my hair just does what it do, and I love it.

But a few days ago, I was in the mirror and my eyes shifted between my face and my hair...back to my face...then to my hair, all of a sudden I started wondering if I my face had lost its cuteness. And then, because you know I take it there and I had to put on a contest with me as the judge.

Hair, full and free-2 points.
Face, clear and clean-2 points.
Hair-textured and strong-4 points.... Yeah, y'all know I am crazy.

Next item.

I have been getting to work on time all week. It is miraculous. I am scheduled to be to work at 9am. I generally roll in around 10a. Before you start invoking stereotypes of black people being late to the job, please know that I work in a large corporation where many directors (Black, White or Striped) roll in around 9:30a or 10a. Heck, my supervisor usually isn't to work until roughly 10:30am. But now that I am able to get ready in 45 minutes, I am not really sure why I was getting to work late in the first place? I am a little puzzled as to what my shiftless behind was doing with that extra hour.

Moving on.

I have to make lists or my life falls apart.
There I said it.
It is true folks. Bills don't get paid, folks don't get called. Work doesn't get done.
The world nearly ends.
I made a call list yesterday and I took it out while I was getting my hair done.
My stylist was like "You have to write down your mother on your call list."
Uh, did I not just tell you my life falls apart without a list!

That's it for now. Ima watch Grey's.

Holla at me in the comments.